Sometimes, all I want is perhaps one of the simplest desires ever. Everyone feels it. I just want a significant other. Really, that’s all I think about sometimes. Particularly when I’m extremely lonely. However, I’m always talking about how I don’t want a girlfriend, and how I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to have one. Does that make me a hypocrite? No. Because I still adhere to the belief that I don’t want one — the logical side of me (which is in control of me, I rarely give in to my passions) realizes that it’s a bad idea to have a girlfriend at this point in my life, and so I don’t have one. And probably won’t, despite the burning desire for one.

hy·poc·ri·sy Audio pronunciation of “hypocrisy” ( P ) Pronunciation Key (h-pkr-s)
n. pl. hy·poc·ri·sies

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.

An ACT of such falseness… I’m only desiring a girlfriend but not yet acting on those desires. So I’m not hypocritical! Go me.


God I hate my peers sometime. I’m riding home on the bus today, sitting next to this one girl who I know for a fact is sexually active (I don’t think she readily admits it but I’ve been there when the dirty deed takes place and there’s some pretty hard to disprove evidence of her dancing the horizontal tango)… Some fat whore (excuse my terminology) behind me starts bitching that “OMG I HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN ONE AND A HALF MONTHS!!” and the girl next to me says “OMG SHUT UP YOU’RE DISGUSTING,” which struck me as at least minorly hypocritical. I think it’s likewise disgusting that she’s sexually active at such a young age, but meh.

Yet the whole time all I could think of was “I HAVEN’T BEEN KISSED IN OVER 16 YEARS!!” but I don’t bitch about it. Most of the time I keep it inside and just think about it at night (usually writing pretty good blogs in my mind) but by the time I’m awake I’ve forgotten the woes I had had that night and don’t blog. I’ve been living so long without sharing my feelings anyway that it just feels awkward to do it.

Anyway, back on topic, people wonder why I hate going to football games and dances. I would think it’s fairly obvious why I don’t enjoy either activity. At football games, which are usually very cold, everyone goes with their girlfriend/boyfriend. Which is an excellent idea, considering the cold… you need a warm body next to you just to function. However, in case I hadn’t made this clear previously, I don’t have a girlfriend, so at football games I usually either sit by myself and freeze or sit next to friends and freeze and feel jealous* because they have their dates with them.

Before I get off track with being susceptible to jealousy, I’ll briefly go over why I dislike dances. It’s mostly the same reasons. All of my friends have dates to go to (and also have the advantage of knowing how to dance) while I have no such person to go with (nor do I possess the ability to dance). So basically I stand around and drink punch while my friends dance, while also being constantly reminded of that passionate want of a girlfriend that I try so desperately to suppress. Not exactly my description of a fun time.

*Yes, I’m susceptible to jealousy. Of course being around couples makes me jealous. Particularly when I’m around my other guy friends. Pretty much everyone I know at my school is either a pothead, extremely bad at conversation or intelligent discussion, flat out brain dead, or leeches their personality from rap videos/other people. I am the only person my age I know of who doesn’t smoke or drink or do any kind of drugs and who generally enjoys intelligent discussion. I can’t help but feel jealous when I see people like the ones I’ve described above get all the girls (sometimes twice) while in the mean time I get nothing. I don’t even get hugs. Not even slutty girls will HUG me. This of course causes me to be very bitter, which is probably a contributing factor to the lack of my getting hugs.


I’m sick of giving people second chances. Screw that. You get one major fuckup with me before you’re gone. There’s 6 billion people on this world, and I have neither the disposition or time to be disappointed 12 billion times. In that regard, my mother, father, and sister have all fucked up once already and get no second chances. Likewise, Dillon, Jake, Dane, Katie, Katie, Sam, Katelyn and probably a handful of others (I can’t be bothered with remembering all of these dipshit’s names) are excommunicated from the church of John.


LOL via Presidential debates.
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