Dead Men Tell No Tales: The Keesler Saga III: Venting

What is Dead Men Tell No Tales? It is a selection of (hitherto) undisclosed, private ruminations and epiphanies. Most take the form of (slightly) edited letters to unnamed recipients, but some have been scavenged from the depths of private journals recently rediscovered. Over the next little while (however long it takes – days, weeks, months, years?) I’ll be posting them in episodic fashion for the reading pleasure of my nonexistent audience.

In The Keesler Saga, our melancholy author reflects on his experiences at his MOS School. Venting recounts the daily stress of training at Keesler while trying to maintain a positive attitude.
Today we had PT at 0600. It was just my class, the “baby” class, which consists of 11 Marines at the moment. Echo Four Whiskey, Echo Three Sierra, Echo Three Asa, Echo Two Delta, Echo Two Alpha, Echo Two Golf, Echo Two Alpha Deuce, Echo Two Charlie, Echo Two Hotel, Echo Two Bravo, and Echo Two Hotel Deuce. We did a deck of pain – each of us had a hand of cards, the number signifying how many repetitions of an exercise (determined by the suit) we did. Diamonds were POW push-ups (do X amount of push ups, and then X amount of military presses with weights on your knees), Spades were Hindu squats, Hearts were lunges, and Clubs were military presses. We each had ~20 lbs in weight the entire time and we went through the entire deck. (Face cards were 15 reps, and aces were 20.)
Class was terrible. We’re in the semiconductors block, learning about power amplifiers (which involves transistors in various configurations – single ended, phase shifter, push-pull, complimentary and darlington pair to name a few) and doing Labvolt. Labvolt consists of plugging a circuit board into a computer and “having at it,” while the directions make little sense and the math hardly works out. (1/1 is slightly less than 1? 6.2 is more than 8? What the fuck?) On the plus side, we got to joke around with Echo Five Hotel a bit.
We didn’t get out until 1740, and so Alpha and I went straight to chow. We had a field day formation at 1830 that we just barely made, and from there we had to field day. I was secured around 1920 but had to go pick up chows for the morning, which I did with Hotel Deuce and Echo Two Sierra Deuce (the only female student in all of TMDE). I got back around 2020 and realized I needed to do my laundry so I started that. When I changed it over at 2100 or so, ONE OF THE WASHERS WAS MALFUNCTIONING AND BASICALLY SOAKED MY CLOTHES WITHOUT DOING A SPIN CYCLE. So that’s pretty fucking gay. Hopefully shit will dry, BECAUSE WE HAVE PT A HALF HOUR EARLIER TOMORROW SO WE CAN DO SOME GOD DAMNED STUPID LONG ASS RUN OR SOME BULLSHIT. Ugh.
Our next dynamic learning exercise will be Labvolt. We will be doing a lot of them. Ready…learn! Red, red, green, ONE! Red, red, green, TWO! Red, red, green, THREE!
Funny/awkward moment of the day: as I’m returning from putting my laundry in the wash, my foot crashes into the door in the hallway (so it sounds like I ran into the glass door). I don’t make it very far into the hallway before Echo Four Whiskey, Echo Six Romeo, and Echo Three Zulu look straight at me. I freeze, awkwardly, unsure of what to do and milking in the awkwardness. This of course drags me into a discussion with them, in which I get to tell Echo Six Romeo about my brother’s bastard child, much to the amusement of all. “Built on a foundation of love, trust, alcohol and unwanted children, his is a marriage born to last! By the way, the first two were sarcastic.”

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