26 Kislev 5775

0420 PST

So I neglected this for a few days. Didn’t do a whole lot. Derek came and picked up PC, peripherals and most video game sutff. Brought a friend (Christina?) which was a little embarrassing since my place was a complete mess but oh well. C’est la vie.

Talked about games and internet probably too much. Also I probably sounded like an idiot trying to explain my novel. Other than that, I spent entirely too much time fruitlessly browsing OkC and watching Nikki Limo on YouTube.

Names of God Bible arrived, leaves “God” as “God” in New Testament ;_; and is missing a few names/titles of YHWH (such as Ancient of Days) but is otherwise a nifty translation. However, [Pastor] sent me a scripture (Job 14:10-17) which was rendered with almost exactly opposite meaning between his translation and Names of God. Time to learn Hebrew. ISR translation arrives Monday.

Lazily missed out on passport and SSDI. Taking care of the latter today at 0900. Hope to take care of the former tomorrow at a similar time before seeing my psychiatrist at 1430. Contacting USMC as soon as I put my pen down regarding a letter I found on eBenefits but never actually received due to it being sent to my old Market St address. Also, I don’t think I’m eligible for Space-A flights anymore, so that sucks.

More or less done sorting clothes and papers I want to keep. Now I just have to actually get rid of my surplus stuff.

Was reading through Genesis and encountered a curious discrepancy. Exodis 6:1-3 clearly has YHWH state that Abraham, Issac and Jacob knew him not by his name YHWH but only El Shaddai, while Genesis 15:7 clearly has YHWH reveal His divine name (well, not AHYH ASR AHYH as in Exodus 3:14) to Abraham, who also used it earlier in Genesis 14. [Later spoke to [Ryan] who clarified that this discrepancy is due to translations and that the actual passage in Exodus more reads like “while they knew my name they did not know the full character attributes that name implies”]

[Church] later today. Hoping to launch patreon soon. Don’t want to throw away uniforms ;_;

1900

Extended worship, [Bob] shared his vision for his new business in Luke 2:48(?) – Yeshua must be about his father’s business.

12/12/2014 – 12/13/2014

12:53 PST

[Bob] called to pray. Perhaps he took to heart what I said about relationships.

Is it childish, immature and unfair of me to have tested my brethren so? Probably. On a long enough timeline, everyone fails this test.

12/13/2014 11:40 PST

Patreon video done, still not sure about launching the page. Giving my TV to [Pastor]’s son. Mention of $200 possibly but I’d be okay with lunch.

[Eric] and others were supposed to get in touch about doing a couple different things today, but nothing yet. Last night I almost tried to reach out to [Asa] or [Jenny] to vent about a lack of confidants but decided better.

I grew up spoiled. I had Kai, and we spent hours on end talking to each other about everything. Even friends in B.L.E. [the Bellingham LAN Experiment] were like that – DiscoDave, for example. I really regret the immature way I terminated that relationship.

I really regret the immature way I’ve terminated a lot of relationships. I was especially mistrustful and thus venomous to the opposite gender. If I took an inventory of serious friends I have anymore, I think I could only really name [Pastor]. I won’t use the tired “Jesus is my friend too” cliche, because for one his name is Yeshua and for two I’ve been snubbing him for a few months.

For a long time I have considered the paradox that is “being understood.” The very means by which we seek to understand one another are the same ones from which misunderstandings are birthed. We suppose that if we “speak” the same language – English, for example – that we will be understood. But often a listener will decipher a different meaning for a particular word or phrase due to context, non-verbals, personal quirks or a host of other factors. Over time – months, years – unaddressed miscommunications pile up and isolation mounts. Also, given how intwined language and thinking are, a person born in Japan speaking Japanese¬†thinks differently¬†from an English speaker. Some of their thoughts can only be messily translated to English, if they can come across at all.

[Editors note: I could republish some old writing I had written along these lines, but I think some of it is still available at http://the-spearhead.com under the pen name J. Durden or JJ Durden. Likewise there’s a blogspot domain floating around where I authored some things under the same pen name, http://jjdurden.blogspot.com]

Small wonder, then, most college courses seem to open with a “define the subject in your own words” exercise before the instructor mercifully clarifies the course of study.

18:40 PST

Will hopefully have the apartment more or less cleaned out by tonight. Then it’s just a matter of giving away furniture and hiring a cleaning service to do things I can’t (since I don’t own a vacuum, etc).

[Pastor] said charge $15 a month. Ha ha!

Need to get back into disciplined scriptural study. Want to pick up a Names of God translation.

1st Peter 4:3-4!!